Support or Love

“Why don’t you try dating too? Aren’t you already eighteen this year?” Mizuki continued to type on her laptop before taking a swig at her glass of shochu.

Chisato’s face at the same time took a swig at the center pole of the cafe, the glass of coffee on her tray swaying a little but thankfully still on it, and not on the floor.

“Ow…” Chisato rubbed a hand on her face as Takina, Mizuki, and Kurumi looked at her in concern.

“Are you okay?” Takina went towards her and took the tray from her hand. “Even if you tell me that, Mizuki-san, I have no idea how these work.”

“Kurumi, go make her one of these Tinder profiles. You into men? Women?” Mizuki closed her laptop and immediately climbed up to the second floor of the cafe. “What?”

Chisato only stared at her, her eyes leering while she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Nothing.”

Takina only turned from Chisato, then to Mizuki. “Tinder? Men? Women?”

“Tinder’s a dating application. You make a profile on a PC or a phone. Then you match yourself with a man or a woman of your preferences, based on their outward appearance.” Kurumi typed away Takina’s ‘fake’ profile on the site. “It’d be against DA laws to upload her face so maybe one that only shows half of it + make up would be good?”

“Use one from when we were in Hawaii. Slightly candid shots are more popular nowadays.” Mizuki pointed at a Takina photo from their cafe twitter and Kurumi immediately put it on the site. “Say that she’s a college student, 19, interested in well? Men, or Women?” She turned to Takina who only stared at her.

“I have never thought about it before.” Takina turned to Chisato who continued to pick up glasses and clean tables, since they were already closing up for the day. “If it were you, Chisato?”

“Never thought about it either~” Chisato answered nonchalantly, not even looking at her’s or Mizuki’s direction.

“Both then. Enter.” Kurumi finished up Takina’s profile. “Ho, ho… You know these men are only for those good lucks. So many matches already.”

“Um…” Takina climbed up as well as she watched Kurumi and Mizuki swipe left and right on the screen. “I don’t think…”

“This guy looks good. He’s into guns, and is muscular as well as good looking.” Kurumi pointed at some handsome guy with black hair. “This lady is also a college student, and is into college films.”

Chisato only watched them from the first floor of the cafe, taking back the glass to the kitchen after wiping all the tables.

“Are you fine with that?” Mika poked his head onto the backroom as Chisato opened the faucet and started washing the dishes and glasses.

“With what?”

“Trying to find a date for Takina.”

“…It’s okay. It’s her life. It’d be great if she finds someone.” Chisato focused her eyes onto the dishes. “It didn’t have to be me. It’s much better if it’s not me? I don’t know.”

“Chisato…” Mika only sighed as he watched his only daughter struggle with her own first love. “You haven’t even tried to ask, or find hints with her.”

Chisato only turned to Mika with a smile. “I’ll support her in the things she’d want to do. Even if it meant being with someone that isn’t me.”

~*

“How’s the dating app going for you?” Mizuki leaned her elbow onto the counter of the LycoReco Cafe as they close up for the day. “It’s been a few weeks since you’ve installed it.”

“Some people there are really weird… Some of them are tough to talk to… However, there was someone I’ve been talking to a lot recently.” Takina finished wiping a table before bringing the tray with glasses on to the counter. She placed the towel in her hand in her pocket and then took out her phone from her other pocket. She pushed a few buttons and showed the screen to Mizuki. “They’re kind of easy to talk to. This person.”

“Oh~ Seems like a decent guy. Didn’t know you were into the plain looking guys.” Mizuki raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and nodding. “Going on a date with him?”

“About that… He asked if we could go meet for a date this Saturday, but I had no idea what to wear.” Takina slowly turned her gaze to Chisato, who was oddly not even paying attention to their conversation. “Would you help me?”

“You don’t want to ask Chisato?” Mizuki raised an eyebrow.

“Chisato…” Takina tucked her phone in her pocket and leaned into whisper to Mizuki. “She’s been acting a bit oddly lately…”

“Well… Of course she is, she’s in love with you.” Mizuki only made an unamused face at Chisato’s way. “Well, since she’s not helping, leave it to Mizuki Onee-san.”

“O- Onee-san?” Takina only blinked at her.

“Hm-mm!” Mizuki nodded proudly before a random block of dice dropped onto her head. “Hey!”

“Stop chatting there and get on here, let’s play!” Kurumi raised both of her hands up in the air before getting hit by the same dice onto the forehead. “Ow!”

“I need to stock up groceries at home so I’ll be off early.” Takina bowed and headed to the dressing room.

After they checked the door had shut behind her, Mizuki turned her stool chair towards Chisato’s direction. She hasn’t moved from the last table she was cleaning, moving the towel slowly left and right, not cleaning anything else but that one spot.

“Are you really not concerned at all?” Mizuki sighed. “I think that’s spot’s sparkly clean. Move somewhere else.”

“I’m… concerned. Of course, I’m concerned.” Chisato turned to look at her, and smiled wryly. “But I feel like, I shouldn’t be… It’s her life, after all.” She stared at the floor, a hand clutching her chest before cleaning the rest of the table.

For a moment there, Mizuki felt bad for what she was doing. She urged Takina to use the dating app, to urge Chisato to make a move. The two of them dancing around, stepping on eggshells around each other was tiring. For a moment there, Mizuki felt really bad, because it’s been a while since she last saw Chisato make the same face.

Almost similar to that day she decided to close down the cafe.

Kurumi hopped off her chair and walked towards Mizuki, elbowing her. “What are you gonna do if Takina actually decides to date that dude?”

“Don’t worry, she won’t.” Mizuki smiled at her wryly, before looking at Chisato’s lonely back once again. “The two of them… just needed to meet each other at the middle.”

~*

“And~ a hat!” Mizuki dropped a round straw hat onto Takina’s hair, to match her comfy green one piece dress, matched with white ankle socks and brown shoes. “Perfect.”

“Thank you. Well then, I’ll be leaving now.” Takina bowed putting her brown shoulder bag over her body. “Um… Mizuki-san, have you seen Chisato?”

“Hm? That brat? No idea where she is. Probably doing a movie marathon or something, that’s how she usually spent her days off anyway.” Mizuki shrugged. Before you showed up, anyway.

“I- I see… Um… Thank you. I’ll be going now.” Takina bowed at her again and exited the cafe.

Takina looked around the streets first before heading up the path. Just right the corner of the cafe, Chisato peeked at Takina before silently following her.

“You didn’t hear this from me, but I heard it was going to be the Sumida Aquarium at 11:45am.” Kurumi’s voice rang in Chisato’s head as she kept herself plenty of paces away from Takina as she followed her. “What am I doing…?”

Takina turned around to her general direction as she stopped in front of the Sumida Aquarium. Chisato immediately hid behind the wall, peeking a little after Takina had opened her phone to check on the person she was meeting.

Before Chisato could decide if she really wanted to continue this ‘tailing’ she had done unconsciously, because of stupid Kurumi who had told her the details of Takina’s ‘date’ some short haired guy who was slightly taller than Takina came running towards her.

He looked really shy finally meeting her in person, and this was one of the many times Chisato hated her super eyesight. Takina just turned to look at him with a smile. Although it was a normal one,  almost similar to the ones she shows to the children in the kindergarten, it felt weird for Chisato to find Takina smiling at someone else.

Chisato shook her head. “No, no. You should be happy that Takina’s making friends… or even lovers! Be happy, Chisato. It’s what she wanted to do…” Takina and the guy chatted a little before Takina checked the time, then the two of them headed towards the aquarium. Chisato clutched in her hand her yearly pass, for this aquarium… before deciding to go inside.

Unlike their last attempt, the aquarium was open this time. Similar to their first aquarium, Takina had her attention on the phone all the time as she searched fish by fish. Chisato smiled at the image, before frowning almost immediately at seeing the guy she was with smile at her cute before too. “That’s supposed to be me… Ngh…” Chisato shook her head before turning away, and spotting the chin anago right behind her. Takina and the guy were about to turn around the spot where she was at. “Oh crap.”

Chisato quickly merged into the crowd of couples as Takina and the guy walked towards the chin anago. Takina looked at  it, and its varieties, finally tearing her eyes away from her phone and looking at it with a warm smile. Chisato felt a tug at her not beating heart as she watched Takina look at the chin anago. “It would be nice if we were both thinking about the same thing.”

“Hey, take a look at this.” The guy with her pointed at some frogs next to them.

Takina took one look at the chin anago, taking a photo of it, before moving to go to the next section with the guy.

Chisato clutched her fist tightly. For the first time in her life, she was confused. Takina told her to ‘do that thing she gave up on’, but she also ‘wanted to do the things she wanted to do the most.’

The thing she gave up on was becoming Takina’s lover, knowing she was going to die… Or if she even had the same feelings as her.

The thing she wanted to do right now, was to see her happiness, even if it meant it was with her. Maybe it was better to not be with her.

Even though Mika and Mizuki already told her she’s going to live a longer life now with her new and improved heart… She still couldn’t grasp the reality that she had more time now.

Chisato looked at Takina. She laughed at a light joke the person next to her just told her. They look at things, and she’s able to converse with them now… It felt like there was nothing more she could share with her… Especially not the burden that were her feelings.

Those red orbs observed as the guy took the initiative and lightly touched Takina’s hands. Takina immediately took a step back and looked at him in surprise.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah, I thought that… people on dates would do this normally. Like them.”

“I see. Shall we hold hands then?”

Chisato swallowed as she watched the two of them hold hands. “You two seem to get along so well, damn it.” She clutched the aquarium leaflet on her hand and angrily tossed it on the nearby trash can before making a beeline for the aquarium’s exit.

She never thought that the aquariums she loved could feel so suffocated. The image of a laughing Takina, her holding hands with someone else, flashed back her mind. Chisato smacked her temples as she tried to get rid of those images. “Damn it. I shouldn’t have come…” Chisato, frustrated in herself stomped away without a particular destination, deeming her mission as a failure, and as a something she would never do again.

From the aquarium, Takina watched the exit curiously, as if she had just seen someone familiar go through its doors. “Chisato…?”

~*

Chisato unknowingly found herself in the park where she and Takina were the very first time they met each other. She specifically chose the exact same bench and sat on the center of it…

“Haaaaaah…” She stretched both her arms above her head, before settling both down the bench’s backrest. Chisato leaned her head backwards, her legs crossed in front of her, her gaze up the cloudy sky. “Right… It was supposed to rain today.” Eh, who cares.

She closed her eyes and looked back into the few weeks. The moments she caught Takina silently taking her phone out and replying to messages with a smile… That cute outfit she wore today for their ‘date’. Her laughing voice she has not heard in a while, her scent she has not felt in a while… Just because Takina got a lover doesn’t mean Chisato had to go and distance herself from her, right…?

Maybe it wasn’t too healthy for her heart…? Not like dying of jealousy and heartbreak could kill her now…

Chisato lifted her head and looked at the almost empty play ground in front of her. “So I’m jealous… huh…” So that’s what it feels like…

The thunder rumbled as the skies slowly grew darker, and darker. The shrieking voices of the remaining children in the park were heard as they all scrambled for shade, and their umbrellas.

Chisato only looked up at the dark sky and glared at it. “You didn’t have to ruin the day for her… Go back to being sunny, idiot…” She closed her eyes once again, unmoving from her spot, as if waiting for the barrage of rain, like punishment. “I don’t care if you ruin my day, but let Takina have her fun…”

A drip of water touched her forehead, then her cheeks, then continuously for the rest of her body, the park, the benches… Chisato didn’t care. Maybe the cold was what she needed to quench the heat of jealousy deep inside her heart.

Jealousy, huh…?

Even if her new heart was a more improved version, it didn’t mean she’d still grow old and grannies with Takina. She wanted her to be happy, have children, a family of her own. Those things were things she couldn’t promise to her… Who was she to keep that from Takina though? If Takina would want her, she’d still go for it…

“Because even I am a selfish human too…”

If Takina loved her, she’d want to be with her. Even though she gave up on it… And she wasn’t the best candidate out of all the fishes in the pond… If Takina chose her, she’d take the opportunity…

“Maybe I shouldn’t…”

Chisato moved a hand to brush up the clinging wet hair on her forehead, the rain drops flying up in the air, as she completely embraced the freely falling rain.

“Damn, my phone…”

She sighed as she clutched her phone in her pocket, but her mind just didn’t want to concern itself about it. Her body still felt hear, and all she wanted to do was maybe cry… and wish the best for Takina. That it was going well for her, and the guy. She didn’t matter. She just wanted her to be happy.

Suddenly, the rain stopped falling over her face, and she felt a shade cover parts of her body. Red orbs suddenly met worried amethyst ones.

“…Chisato?”

“Ta- Takina!?” Chisato suddenly bolted up right, her forehead hitting Takina’s jaw. “Owww!” She huddled over the bench clutching her forehead.

Takina rubbed her jaw, but nonetheless walked around the bench and made sure Chisato was being sheltered by the umbrella.

“Why are you here…?” Chisato looked up to Takina who was standing next to her bench with an umbrella.

“…I thought I saw you in the aquarium, so I cut my prior plans short and searched for you.” Takina answered nonchalantly.

“You sure are an idiot…” Chisato murmured under her breath.

“You’re the idiot, staying in the rain like this. What if you catch a cold?” Takina only glared at Chisato, and unlike the other times, Chisato didn’t feel the weight of it. “Safe house 3 is near here, right? Let’s go.”

“No way. Go back to your date.” Chisato gritted her teeth as she rested both her arms on the back rest of the bench once again. “I’ll go home when I feel like it. Somewhere.”

Takina only looked at Chisato. “Then I’ll stay here too, until you feel like going home. Somewhere.” She started pushing Chisato’s legs to make space.

“Wha?? Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing!?” Chisato immediately got up from her position and held onto Takina’s arm.

“Her hand’s cold.” Takina only glared at Chisato. “Can’t you see? I’m trying to sit next to you. I’m going to fold this umbrella and–“

“Fine!” Chisato stood up from the bench and held onto Takina’s hands that were about to close the umbrella. “What are you going to do if you catch a cold?”

“You called me an idiot earlier, so I assume, I won’t get one either.” Takina only flatly responded to her. Chisato only watched her with an exasperated expression. “If you’re going home though, I’ll be going with you. If you’re staying here, then I’ll stay here with you.”

“Okay, fine. I’m going back now, then.” Chisato sighed as she marched towards the safehouse with Takina trailing behind her. She looked up and saw the umbrella being shared to her. “It’s fine, I’m completely drenched already. Just make sure you’re dry, okay?”

“It would be best if you stay under it so the water you’d have to wring off it would be less later.” Takina matched Chisato’s pace as they walked.

“I guess that’s true…” Chisato sighed once again and walked.

Takina watched Chisato walk slightly in front of her with a small smile. As I expected… This is where I wanted to be.

~*

Chisato, now dry and in her pajamas, sat on one side of the couch, an elbow on the arm rest, her chin resting atop her hands as she looked at somewhere that didn’t have Inoue Takina on it.

Borrowing a few clothes from Chisato, now wearing a parka, and some shorts, Takina sat next to Chisato, not touching her, but not too far from her either.

“Well? Why did you come?” Chisato asked coldly, not even facing her.

It was the first time Takina has ever seen this Chisato. Was this the one Mizuki-san always mentioned as ‘sulky and bad mood Chisato’? The one that only shot bullets through the car’s windows to scare away perverts and bullies from the road.

“Like I said earlier, I thought–“

“Why did you come for me? This was your day, you were in the company of a good person.”

Takina only watched Chisato before she turned to her lap, where her hands laid. “…I wasn’t really enjoying myself.”

“You were laughing and chatting with him.” Chisato scoffed. “If that’s what you, not enjoying, was like, then I feel like I don’t really know you.”

Takina clutched the ends of the parka just under her hands. “I went inside, and saw things that I thought you would enjoy to see. If I were with you, you’d probably have a funny comment at a particular fish… Or imitate the chin anago once again, because it was fun. That’s what I was thinking about the whole time.” She smiled as she described what she felt, Chisato, who was watching her from the side of her eyes suddenly turned away.

Chisato then, once again, slightly turned to her, Takina was glad it was working because she could at least see part of her face now. “Why would you think of someone else while on a date with someone else? You’re a frightening person.”

“I only went because Mizuki-san said I should.” Takina held onto the clothes under her palms once again. “You’ve been acting oddly the past few days, too. You wouldn’t talk to me. If I call to you, you always seemed so busy…”

“You always responded to messages with a big smile, who am I to butt into those?” Chisato turned away again, and once more all Takina could see was the back of her head.

“Ah…” Takina turned herself towards Chisato’s direction, her knees lightly touching her thighs. “Our conversations seemed to go well, because he shared the same hobbies as you. Action movies.”

Chisato didn’t move from her position, and was only silent. Maybe it was a signal for her to explain herself.

“I told him that I also have a friend who liked action films, so I asked for recommendations. From there on, it was a back and forth conversations of films that I was listing, so we could watch them together…” Takina looked at her lap. “However, you won’t talk to me properly, so I had no chance to bring them up…”

“Of course not, because I wasn’t giving chances to you…” Chisato wanted to smack her own face for being the rude gaslighter she had been the past few days.

“I consulted Kurumi, Mizuki-san, and the manager what I could do… but all they mentioned was to give you space. Frankly speaking, I don’t understand what’s going on. I don’t know what emotions these are. However, during today, when I thought I saw you in the aquarium, I… yearned for you.” Takina grabbed a cushion from next to her and hugged it tightly to her chest, burying her face onto it. It was faint, but it had Chisato’s scent, and it made her feel a bit calmer. “It was as if… I suddenly missed you, even though we always saw each other. I don’t understand it well. Um… I have never felt this way before.”

Chisato slowly turned around to face Takina, only to find the usually calm and collected lady, blushing furiously behind a cushion, those amethyst eyes staring at her in confusion.

“If I did something wrong, I’m sorry… I can not take this distance, this unknown thing between us, anymore…” Takina looked down as she hugged the cushion. “I don’t know what I am saying, or feeling right now. I’m sorry.”

Chisato let out a long and loud sigh. “Takina.”

“Y- Yes…?” Takina put down the cushion on her lap as she turned to look at Chisato.

“First of all, I’m sorry. For today, the past few days… and everything. The truth is, I was following you the whole day… but it seemed like everything was going well, and I couldn’t take it anymore so I left.” Chisato watched Takina’s hands that were on the cushion on top of her lap. “And I… I… I…”

Takina only blinked as she watched Chisato as the normally chatty and energetic one with a word for everything struggled to say something.

“I…” Chisato knotted her eyebrows as she closed her hands into fists. “Go, Nishikigi Chisato. Just say it!” She lifted her tight fists in front of her as she mini air punched nothingness in front of her. “I love you!”

“E- Eh?”

“H- Huh?” Chisato blinked as she turned to Takina, her ears and cheeks turning a shade of red. “Wait! I skipped plenty-a lot-many things! L- Let me do that again!”

Takina swallowed as she watched Chisato, the beating of her heart in her chest loud, and fast.

“I- Inoue Takina.” Chisato, completely red faced, with knotted eyebrows and a complicated expression looked at her with those earnest red eyes. “First of all, I’m sorry for my behavior the past few days. I was jealous.”

“Jealous?” Takina only looked at her in confusion, head tilting to one side. “You have feelings of envy and resentment towards whom?”

“Wh- Whom? Th- That! Man, guy, boy, child you were chatting with, and a multitude of others you swiped right with!” Chisato pointed at Takina’s phone that was on the low table next to the couch. “A- All of them!”

“I- I see… S- Swipe right? I don’t understand. It was mostly Mizuki-san…”  Takina blinked as she watched Chisato. Finally she noticed that her normally twintailed hair wasn’t there, that those short white hair was left lightly uncombed. Her expressions changed from a mildly angry one, to an embarrassed one, then one that’s a bit confused. Takina has never seen her expression change so many times in a short span. “Why were you jealous… then?”

“B- Because…” Chisato turned to face Takina as she gently took in both of Takina’s hands into her own. “I… I’m… I’m… I like you, the not friend kind.”

“You mentioned before that love comes in many shapes… Is this one of those?” Takina asked as she lightly tugged onto Chisato’s hands. Chisato looked at her lightly in surprise.

“Y- Yeah… This one… Makes me want to kiss you… Hug you. I want to always be with you… I think about you everyday.” Chisato tightly held onto Takina’s hands. She turned to look at those calm amethyst orbs, as she felt those honest eyes calm her as well. “I want you to always be safe. I want you to always, only, look at me. I want you to just be mine. I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”

Takina smiled at her gently. “Those are plenty of very different feelings.”

“Th- That’s right. Got a problem with that?” Chisato pouted as she tugged at Takina’s hands. “S- So…”

“Mm?”

“You asked me to do the things I gave up on… Loving you by your side is one of them.” Chisato swallowed as she frowned.

Watching those eyebrows furrow, and those lips turn upside down, Takina felt an urge inside her. To wrap that sad face in her embrace. She pulled onto Chisato’s hands as she wrapped her arms around Chisato’s shoulders.

“I also want to be by your side all the time. Hug you. Keep you safe. When we’re not together, I wonder about what you are doing. Are these emotions the same?” Takina tightly hugged Chisato as she patted her blonde her calmly.

“I don’t know… Maybe…” Chisato answered onto Takina’s chest as she wrapped her arms around Takina’s waist. “I’ve… never felt this strongly before too. I always kept my distance from people, because one day, I know that I’ll be gone soon… with you, I kept on getting pulled against my will. Every single second we spend together, I feel myself closer.”

“I see.” Takina smiled as she continued to trail her hands on Chisato’s hair. “Chisato.” She parted from the hug as she watched Chisato’s expression. “Is there anything else?”

Chisato pouted as she looked away. “…Would you like to date me?”

“…Do you mean that as the same that a man and a woman would do?”

“Y- Yeah…”

“Like Yoshimatsu, and the manager was?”

“Yeah…”

“…I don’t know a lot of things but… then, please take care of me.”

Chisato turned her head Takina, so fast she almost hurt her neck. “R- Really?”

“Should I not have done so?” Takina smiled at her playfully.

“P- Please do so?” Chisato turned her gaze away from Takina as she stared at the couch space in between them. “Are you really really sure though?”

“It’s odd of you to be unsure. Usually you’d just be charging at everything at full speed.”

“W- We’re adults now… soon. Stuff like… this. Needs to be serious… I want you to know I’m serious.” Chisato pouted at the couch.

“I know that you are.” Takina moved forward as she tried to catch Chisato’s gaze with her face to force her to look at her. “I will date you, Chisato.”

Chisato smiled at her without saying anything as she gently took Takina’s hand in her hand. “Then I’ll be in your care, Takina.”

“Likewise.” Takina squeezed Chisato’s hand as they smiled at each other.

(Support or Love/END)

---

“Mizuki-san.” Takina suddenly stood next to Mizuki’s hidden corner table in the cafe, surprising the actually seriously working lady.

“Wh- Whoa! What the f–! Wear a bell goddamnit!” Mizuki held a hand to her chest. “What is it?”

“How do I move forward in my relationship with Chisato?”

Takina asked straightforwardly.

“How long has it been since you started dating?” Mizuki took a swig at her glass and realized it was all water. This was the time where she needed all the alcohol.

“About three months.”

“How far have you gone?”

“Um… Holding hands…? What goes on beyond there?” Takina asked innocently.

“I’m sorry I can’t teach you what goes on beyond there. Do you want some reference materials?” Mizuki spoke so quickly it was as if she was rapping.

“What are you planning on sending her?” Kurumi peeked at them from her game corner.

“Some AVs?” Mizuki snickered as she tapped on her work laptop.

“What? Why would you? You want Chisato to shoot you dead?” Kurumi raised an eyebrow at her as if Mizuki just suggested the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard her whole life.

“AV?” Takina repeated the word and looked at Kurumi.

“Animal Videos!” Kurumi answered in a panic as Mizuki snickered. “No!”

“No?” Takina turned to Mizuki. “It’s not Animal Videos?”

“It’s okay, I’ll live. Besides it sounds fun to talk to Chisato about this.” Mizuki pointed at Takina while she sighed as the door to the lycoreco opened.

“Chisato-san is back~!” Chisato lifted up four bags of grocery before setting it down the tatami mat. She felt three pairs of eyes on her. “What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Chisato, what’s an AV?” Takina looked at her innocently.

Mizuki covered her mouth with a hand as Kurumi covered her eyes with her VR goggles…

followed by Chisato covering her ears with both of her hands.

Mika entered the cafe from the kitchen while he polished a glass. He looked at Mizuki, Kurumi, then Chisato, before turning to Takina. “What?”

“Manager, what’s an AV?”

(END)