Your Actual Thoughts

Sakiko narrowed her eyes as she arrived in the practice studio, surprised by the fact that a certain purple haired drummer had arrived before her.

“Good morning.” She greeted meekly as she walked past Nyamu, who was sitting on the resting couch, and towards her spot near the keyboards setup.

“Ah. Sakiko-chan~ Good morning.” She greeted back with her usual cheshire smile. “Say, Sakiko-chan.”

“What is it, Yuutenji-san?”

“I’ve always been curious so… What’s your real deal with Uiko-chan?” Nyamu looked at her mischievously.

“What?” Sakiko stopped walking as she quickly turned to her. People would often say that Togawa Sakiko is a bit hard to read, but to Yuutenji Nyamu, if you spend enough time with her, you’d know that the expression she has now would be the one she always has when she’s feeling perplexed, offended, or above of all, on guard.

It was what Nyamu found the most interesting after joining this band. How could someone like Togawa Sakiko, a woman with cheap clothes that she wears repeatedly, mysteriously always goes home alone, and never talks about herself, could get someone so talented and popular as Misumi Uika, and Wakaba Mutsumi in this band?

They both act very close around her as seen with how she refers to the both of them with their first names. Mutsumi seemed to be a childhood friend, but Misumi Uika…? That’s an even bigger mystery.

“What I’m saying is, how are you paying her?” Nyamu stood up from the resting couch, and took out her usual pair of drumsticks. She started walking towards the drumset as she spun one stick in her hand. “Like, are you satisfying her in the same ways that most people in entertainment do so?”

Sakiko fully turned to her as she balled her hands into fists. “What are you saying?”

“All I’m saying is are you sleeping with her to get her to stay in this band?” Nyamu took a seat behind the drums and turned to Sakiko. “Because we all know that it couldn’t have been money. You’re pretty, and have the looks for it. Maybe a bit young, so fresh into high school, but it’s not uncommon–“

Sakiko raised her head as she glared at Nyamu. “You’re just insulting her now.”

“You phrased that like you’re not so far away from doing it.” Nyamu gave her a smile.

“I–“

The door to the practice studio opened as their very topic entered with a guitar in hand.

“Good morning, Nyamu-san, Saki-chan.” Uika blinked as Nyamu waved at her and returned her greeting, while Sakiko continued walking towards her piano setup. “Err… Did I miss something?”

“Good morning, Uika. You did not.” Sakiko answered and diffused the tension quickly, earning a pout from Nyamu who just lost her opportunity to bring up their previous topic.

“I was just wondering how such a talented one was recruited here. Oh well.” Nyamu sighed and prepared her drum set for practice. Uika only tilted her head at her in confusion before shrugging.

Uika walked towards the guitar amplifier and put down her guitar case next to it. She then turned to Sakiko. “Saki-chan.”

“Yes?” Sakiko turned to her with her usual flat expression.

“Let’s do our best today, too okay? Also… Can we go home together today?” Uika smiled at her wryly. “I’ll be going to the planetarium today. I thought maybe we could walk at least halfway.”

Thinking, and knowing that it wouldn’t do any harm, Sakiko nodded. “All right.”

Uika gave her a smile so bright, it could probably blind someone. “Thank you!”

Thank you.

Sakiko never deserved such words, especially from someone like her. Yuutenji Nyamu isn’t wrong about her suspicious.

Togawa Sakiko is well aware of the girl’s feelings towards her, and that’s the very thing she’s clinging on to, for the success of this band. If one day Misumi Uika asked her for a physical relationship to continue being in this band, without a doubt, she may agree and do it.

In order to maintain the success and image of this band, Misumi Uika, no… Doloris, must stand at the center of it. To fulfill that, Togawa Sakiko must make sure that whatever Uika needs from her, she’ll be able to give.

~*

“Good work today!” Uika waved at the three other band members. Sakiko bowed at them as the door to the studio closed. “Saki-chan–“

“I can clean up here, you can go on and freshen up.” Sakiko made sure both of her keyboards were turned off before removing the cables hooked up on it. She walked towards the ottoman in one corner, opened it up and took some rugs to clean up the instruments of dust.

“I’ll help.” Uika was immediately next to her, and a rug in hand. “If we do it together, we’ll finish faster, right?”

Sakiko blinked and sighed. “I suppose so.”

They worked together in completing the equipment check and started wiping down the instruments to keep them clean. In less than half the time Sakiko usually spent to clean up, they were finished.

“Do you usually do this by yourself, all the time?” Uika washed her hands after washing the rug she used and hung it over a make shift clothesline inside the toilet. “Maybe I should help out more…”

“Yes. It’s important to keep everything clean.” Sakiko nodded and dried her hands after washing. She would never admit that she had an agreement to the building owners that she’d be doing the cleaning as well, since she’s paying less than a normal person would for the rental. “I truly appreciate today, Uika, but don’t try to do it often. You have other work to do, do you not?”

“Uu…” Uika just hung her head and shoulders in defeat followed by a sigh. “Then I’d like to help out when I don’t other work like today, okay?”

Sakiko sighed. “Do what you want.” She then gave Uika a small smile then left the toilet, with Uika following her out like a puppy.

They were quickly able to leave the studio and set off their path back to the Ikebukuro main roads towards the Planeterium in Sunshine City.

“Saki-chan, do you want to grab some snacks?” Uika turned to Sakiko who was walking slightly further behind her. “Saki-chan?”

“Oh, no. It’s okay, Uika.” Sakiko nodded at her. Uika frowned a little then just nodded, understanding that Sakiko probably has other plans.

Sakiko didn’t have other plans. Her call center shift wasn’t until a bit later into the night, however, her, being sidetracked was caused by this group of girls walking not so far from them, since they left the studio.

“Hey! Isn’t that sumimi’s Misumi Uika?”

“Oh my god! I heard people tweeting that they see her often here! Do they rehearse here often?”

“Do you think it’s okay to talk to her? She even has a guitar case! It could only be her, right?”

She had been hearing their conversation for a while now, and she couldn’t help but think that Uika absolutely needs to learn how popular she is now.

“Ui–“

Before she could even call her name, the girls rushed and pushed Sakiko to the side. The momentum causing her to fall and collide to rhe pave walk.

Uika quickly turned around to her but she was blocked by the group of girls who had just rushed forward the moment they entered a slightly isolated area.

Sakiko immediately got to her feet and dusted her dress. She noticed a gash on her leg, and immediately felt pain on her left hand after accidentally using it as cushion for her fall.

It seems that her hand had landed on a large pointed rock, and it had started to bleed now.

“…How idiotic could you be Togawa Sakiko? You need these hands to keep your value.” She looked at Uika… and couldn’t find her because it was all of the girls she could see.

She could very much use this opportunity to leave, but a part of her didn’t want to just leave Uika like that. Sakiko walked towards the sides and took out her handkerchief to attempt and stop the bleeding of her hand.

Purple eyes searched until she found who she was looking for. The girls in front of her were fighting about something she doesn’t understand, but she couldn’t move because they were all around her guitar case.

Her eyes narrowed the moment she could finally find Sakiko, and the panic that built up inside her was inexplainable the moment she saw blood come out of her hand.

“Are you sumimi’s Misu–“

“I’m sorry, you’ve got the wrong person.” Uika spoke in a deeper voice as she quickly detached herself from the girls and ran towards Sakiko.

Normally she carried her guitar carefully, it was her cherished instrument, but right now something else she cared for was injured.

“Saki-chan! Let’s go.” Uika quickly grabbed Sakiko’s wrist with her free hand and took her away from area, before the girls could even find them.

“Uika!? What are you–” Sakiko followed–more like let herself be dragged forward as Uika led her to somewhere.

Sakiko allowed herself to be dragged by Uika until they were in a slightly secluded side of a park. She was then dragged down to a bench, the guitar case then settled right next to her.

“I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.” Uika gently touched the sides of her arms then went inside the convenience store.

Sakiko sighed as she closed her eyes. The throbbing pain in her hand is a reminder of just what it is that she was… a human.

Before she could notice it, Uika was back with a plastic in her hand. She removed her cap, and her shades, and put it next to Sakiko’s side, opposite of where her guitar case was.

“I bought you ichigo milk. So you can forget the pain.” Uika smiled at her widely, an incredibly large smile, that the girls from before would likely refer to as ‘handsome’.

“Geez. Don’t treat me like a child.” Sakiko sighed but gently took the pack that already had the straw inserted on if, ready for her to drink.

Uika laughed but didn’t say anything else. She crouched on the ground in front of Sakiko and opened the plastic bag. She uncapped a bottle of water, then turned towards Sakiko’s left hand.

She unwrapped the white handkerchief that already had blood through it, gently working around it to make sure it wouldn’t be painful. Uika saw an inch long gash running along the center of her palm, downwards near her wrist.

“Haaah… I’m glad it isn’t too deep…” Uika sighed a genuine sigh of relief. She urged Sakiko to slouch forward so she could wash her wound with water, and thankfully Sakiko cooperated with her.

Uika swiftly washed Sakiko’s wound with water, then damply wiped it with her own, still clean, handkerchief. Then she placed droplets of the wound cleaning solution, followed by a gauze bandage to cover it. Next up she also cleaned the graze on Sakiko’s leg, and patched it up with gauze as well.

After finishing, Uika put back all of the things inside the plastic bag and let out a long sigh of relief. She gently grabbed Sakiko’s hand and clasped them softly in between her’s.

“Haaaah. I was so worried…” Uika gently pressed her forehead onto her hands that were cradling Sakiko’s hands. “I’m glad the wound wasn’t too deep, I hope it heals quickly.”

Sakiko sipped the rest of her ichigo milk and settled it down next to her. To be quite honest, all she had wanted to do was run away. She didn’t like it when someone showed her all these affection. She didn’t like it when someone fussed about her.

However she knew deep down that if it was Uika’s attention, she couldn’t refuse it. She couldn’t refuse her attention, and in fact, she liked it.

“Uika…” Sakiko smiled at her softly, just like old times. “Thank you.” She gently patted Uika’s head with her free hand.

“Mm!” Uika grinned at her. She looked just like a happy golden retriever who had been told that it was ‘a good boy!’

Uika quickly grabbed the drink carton and the used gauze patches and threw them away in a nearby trashcan. She then bundled up the wound solution and remaining unused gauze and handed them to Sakiko.

“Here. As a reminder from me, to always clean your wound. With that, I will also help out with cleaning up until your hands completely heal. Okay?” Uika smiled.

“…I’ve got it already.” Sakiko gently accepted the bag. “You really get so pushy about the oddest things.”

Uika lifted her guitar case and moved it to a few paces away and sat next to Sakiko.

“Saki-chan.” Purple eyes trailed down Sakiko’s slender hands, the hesitation from taking her hands evident from her movement. In the end she refrained from doing so, and reaffirmed her resolve. “Saki-chan. I heard your conversation with Yuutenji-san.”

Sakiko swallowed as she turned to Uika. At this point in her life, not a lot of things make her feel fear… but Uika leaving her was one of the biggest ones she held within her heart. Deep, deep down in her heart.

“I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do… I’d love to be in this band with you, for as long as you want me to.” Uika confidently placed a hand to her chest. “Doloris wouldn’t exist without Oblivionis.”

“Uika…”

“On one condition.”

“…Condition?”

“…That when you’re ready, you’ll finally tell me what’s plaguing you. Okay?”

“…I’ve got it.”

“No one can stop me from doing what I want to do. I’ll be with you, every step of the way.” Uika smiled at her, confidently. “For I will be the one to remember, the you, whom they have forgotten.”

“Uika, would you please stay still?” Sakiko spoke as she closed her eyes.

“Eh? Ah? Y- Yeah…?” Uika sat still.

Before she could say anything, nor react anything, thin arms were wrapped around her shoulders, as Sakiko buried her face onto the crook of her neck.

Uika blinked multiple times.

“D- Do you wrap your arms back in times like these? Uu… Don’t chicken out, Misumi Uika!” She raised her hands up to return the hug, not quite getting there.

“…Let me stay like this for a while.”

Uika’s eyes widened before softening. She gently embraced Sakiko back, as she let her lean her whole weight towards her. “Of course, Saki-chan.”

Sakiko closed her eyes, and let the warmth engulf her. “Thank you. Wait for me… for one day, I’ll be the one to ease you of your sorrow.”

(Your Actual Thoughts/END)

In no longer than a few minutes, Sakiko started to untangle herself from Uika’s embrace.

“Thank you.”

Uika blinked. “A- Anytime!”

Sakiko giggled. “What’s with that stiff reaction?”

“Y- You laughed!”

“I did not.”

“Did too!”

“I did not!”

Their mild shouting contest seems to have caught the attention of nearby people…

“Excuse me… Are you sumimi’s–“

“Oh crap.” Uika quickly put on her cap and glasses. Grabbed her guitar case with her left hand, and her most important thing in her right hand, Sakiko’s arm, avoiding her injured hand and wrist. “Wrong person!”

Sakiko let herself be dragged away once again as they ran away from the place.

“Uika, you really should be more aware that you’re a celebrity.”

“I’ve heard that before! I’m reflecting on it already, Sakiko-sama!”

Sakiko giggled. “I think you might want to reflect on it more.”

Uika smiled as they ran. “If it could get you to laugh again like this, maybe not.”

(END)